TV Review: The self-awareness and schlock are half-assed at best in Lifetime’s The Unauthorized Full House Story

About an hour into The Unauthorized Full House Story, the Lifetime special achieves a rare, honest-t0-goodness moment of creative intelligence. While John Stamos (Justin Gaston) and his TV band, The Rippers, are in the middle of rehearsing an unbearably cheesy cover of the already unbearably cheesy Kool & The Gang hit “Celebration,” the entire cast spontaneously joins them on backing vocals and auxiliary percussion. If this were the set of any other show, the musicians would be understandably pissed, but hey, it’s Full House, so everyone’s laughing and dancing and having the time of their lives—everyone, that is, except Bob Saget.

As played by Garrett Brawith, the man behind Danny Tanner has a much more pessimistic reaction to the fluffiness surrounding him, which isn’t a surprise given how much Saget’s profane sense of humor famously clashed with ABC’s family-friendly programming. “It can’t be …

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