Tag Archives: the onion

Great Job, Internet!: Watch that Shia LaBeouf music video with a far more appropriate song

The music video for Sia’s “Elastic Heart” is the gift that keeps on giving. First, it led to an apology from Sia to those who were perturbed by seeing 12-year-old Maddie Ziegler dance fight with noted weirdo and Cabaret-enthusiast Shia LaBeouf. Here’s the video in question for those that haven’t seen it: Now the video has led to an excellent […]

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Newswire: The Beetlejuice sequel definitely has a place for Michael Keaton

Following Tim Burton’s confirmation that, oh yeah, he would direct a second Beetlejuice starring Winona Ryder, screenwriter Seth Grahame-Smith has confirmed that the filmmakers definitely plan to bring back Michael Keaton as well. According to Grahame-Smith, the long-anticipated sequel will serve as a proper follow-up to the original story and won’t attempt to reboot the series with Melissa McCarthy or […]

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Great Job, Internet!: Marvel now streaming 2 episodes of ’70s Japanese Spider-Man live action show

As part of its Spider-Verse event going on in comics now, Spider-Man is recruiting different versions of Spider-Men (and Spider-Women) from different dimensions to help battle a threat the superhero can’t face alone. (It makes a bit more sense in context.) In the recent Amazing Spider-Man #12, for instance, Spider-Man recruits Takuya Yamashiro and a giant robot to help in […]

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Newswire: Steven R. McQueen is leaving The Vampire Diaries

After five-and-a-half seasons of fighting, communicating with dead girlfriends, and all-around emoting, Steven R. McQueen will be leaving The Vampire Diaries. The actor—who has played Jeremy Gilbert, younger brother to Nina Dobrev’s Elena, since the show’s beginning—will be departing in episode 14 of the current season, early in 2015. However, according to The Hollywood Reporter, his character isn’t being killed […]

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Newswire: Exclusive DC preview: Justice League United #8 wipes out The Legion Of Superheroes

DC’s New 52 hasn’t been kind to The Legion Of Superheroes. After launching two new Legion-centric titles at the very start of the New 52 reboot, DC canceled both books and left the characters floating in 31st-century limbo. They’ve recently returned in the current arc of Jeff Lemire’s Justice League United, teaming up with the heroes of the present day […]

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Great Job, Internet!: Carl Sagan did say “billions and billions” a lot on Cosmos, video proves

Certain public figures become associated in the public’s mind, often thanks to mimics and comedians, with particular catchphrases or vocal tics. Sometimes, however, these associations are inaccurate or exaggerated. Cary Grant never actually said the words “Judy, Judy, Judy” in any of his movies, for instance, nor did James Cagney ever truly call someone “you dirty rat.” But late astrophysicist […]

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Newswire: iZombie to premiere March 17, introduce the term “ZILF”to the cultural lexicon

During the upfront presentation for the CW’s iZombie, executive producer Rob Thomas—once again, the Veronica Mars guy, not the Matchbox Twenty guy—joked that his new series would be more accurately called “ZILFs,” which stands, presumably, for “Zombies I’d Like to Finish off, maybe with a shovel, because who would want to have sex with an animated corpse?” (Besides the guy […]

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Newswire: Netflix is releasing a one-hour special of Ricky Gervais’ Derek

Probably as a result of all that deafening critical acclaim, Netflix will be airing a one-hour special of Ricky Gervais’ sitcom Derek. The comedian tweeted the news that his show, whose second season aired last summer, would be returning to the streaming service on April 3: EXCLUSIVE: BIG NEWS! #Derek and the Broad Hill gang return to Netflix with a […]

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Newswire: CBS renews three new shows, sets date for Colbert’s Late Show debut

For football fans inundated with commercials constantly touting the network’s success, it should come as no surprise that CBS has renewed three of its freshman dramas. The Tiffany Network has given Scorpion, NCIS: New Orleans, and Madam Secretary all second seasons of seemingly edgy but ultimately bland procedural shows that somehow pull in huge numbers, even as most people would […]

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Great Job, Internet!: Here’s an hour of Murder She Wrote’s Angela Lansbury figuring shit out

“Yes, of course! That’s it!” There is perhaps no sweeter moment in television, or truly in all of existence, than that inevitable scene in every episode of Murder, She Wrote during which Angela Lansbury’s inquisitive mystery writer Jessica Fletcher gets a sudden flash of inspiration and dashes off to solve yet another homicide. Editor extraordinaire Isaac Royffe (whose CV includes […]

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