Preview: What will win, and what should win, at the 2017 Oscars

“Quiet” is a relative distinction when it comes to Oscar season; Hollywood’s annual pageant of self-congratulation—stretched across several very long weeks of acceptance speeches, for-your-consideration campaigns, and precursor award ceremonies—is about as reliably loud as any other pageant. If it seems quieter this year, maybe that’s just because the noise of the real world is drowning out everything else. (There are bigger things to discuss right now than who will win what on Sunday.) Then again, it could also be that there’s just not much suspense surrounding the 2017 Academy Awards. Not with a brightly attractive, seemingly unstoppable throwback musical threatening to clean sweep its way across Oscar night.

Suspense or not and triviality be damned, The A.V. Club has a job to do. And that job is offering highly unscientific, vaguely educated, shot-from-the-hip Oscar predictions. Last year, yours truly got only 15 of …

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