Newswire: WWE Studios to expand its market with a British Taken ripoff

It’s a tragic story that’s been repeated over and over again throughout history: A young movie studio hooks up with a sleazy older guy, and the next thing you know someone’s been kidnapped and it’s time for a roaring rampage of revenge and dead European criminals. Hot on the heels of its new horror movie partnership with KISS frontman Gene Simmons, WWE Studios has announced that it’s tag-teaming up with British movie studio Richwater Films for a film that’s being described as “a Taken riff.”

Said riffage will arrive in the form of Eliminators, the tale of a former federal agent who must employ a, shall we say, “itemized list of talents” (promo-taping, grapples, smelling what The Rock is cooking) to protect his daughter from a group of assassins who can presumably only be defeated via suplex or figure-four leglock. The film will star …

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