Newswire: Weekend Box Office: Terminator fails to terminate in our alternate timeline

In a horrible disruption of the space-time continuum, Paramount accidentally created an alternate timeline where Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in a Terminator movie and people only sort of care. Harkening back to 1984 and 1991, when caring about Terminator movies was all the rage, the spellcheck-deprived cybernetic lifeforms behind Terminator Genisys made some seemingly minute changes to the status quo—replacing James Cameron with the dude who directed that second Thor movie, replacing Michael Biehn with an Australian robot—resulting in a dystopian present wherein Schwarzenegger fighting Schwarzenegger is not a big box-office draw. Oh, the horrors of tampering with (cinematic) history!

To be fair, Genisys didn’t flat-out flop: Over the five-day holiday weekend, the film grossed about $44 million, which is a tiny bit more than the last two Terminator sequels took in during their debut days. And internationally, it’s doing solid business, having claimed some $85 million …

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