Newswire: Warner Bros. rolls a saving throw against Dungeons & Dragons movie rights dispute

Long ago, in the year 2013, a ragtag band of adventurers known as the Warner Bros. discovered a musty scroll that spoke of an ancient treasure buried deep within the hills of the west. It was the legendary chest said to contain long-lost filming rights to Dungeons & Dragons. How could this assemblage of scribes, accounting wizards, and a level 14 casting agent resist the allure of such a prize?

Arming themselves the boots of rebooting, a cloak of distraction, and a several vials of a powerful nostalgia potion, the troupe answered the call of high adventure. Having negotiated a murky labyrinth festooned with obstacles left by studio gods displeased by the works of man, this group reached their destination. But a shield of litigation ensconced the glittering hoard that lay before them. “Nay,” bellowed the sorcerers of Hasbro’s Allspark Pictures and Sweetpea Entertainment. “Thou shalt not take these …

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