Newswire: UPDATE: California official says water Tom Selleck supposedly stole was actually paid for

Tom Selleck has long been notorious for hoarding the nation’s Hawaiian prints and little ladies, but this week it was revealed he’s also been selfishly stockpiling thousands of gallons of water—even amid California’s debilitating drought. In a lawsuit filed Monday, Selleck was accused of regularly sending a white truck to the same fire hydrant in Thousand Oaks over the course of several years, where it would fill its tanker, then haul the purloined water back to Selleck’s ranch in a completely different district. There, Selleck would use the water to nourish his avocado farm, as well as moisturize the bristles of a mustache that might otherwise grow stiff and unkempt in the unforgiving summer air.

For many, keeping America supplied with famous Tom Selleck avocados and inspired with iconic Tom Selleck facial hair may fall under the sort of extenuating circumstance that supersedes California’s …

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