Newswire: Totally bitchin’ data mining results in 2015 YouTube Music Award winners

Yo, homeboys and homegirls! Put down those pogs and let us rap at you for a minute. You kids are totally down with the sickness, right? Let’s all agree that we’re straight-up caught in a bad romance—a romance with not knowing who the 2015 YouTube music award winners are! Fist bump with Red Bulls! Let’s “break our rusty cage and run,” as we stay on top of the freshest and hottest beats—though not this sick beat, kids, because that would violate copyright law—and learn who won this year’s YouTube Music Awards, a list that includes Tay-Tay, Beyoncé, and Lady Gaga. Gnarly! Surge Cola!

The absolute coolest part, of course, is that you kids didn’t have to do any voting at all! Voting is for squares, right?!? Except of course that you should for sure Rock The Vote because you guys are the …

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