Newswire: Three-time Oscar nominee Laura Linney stops screwing around, joins Ninja Turtles

After earning three Oscar nominations, three Tony nods, four Emmys, and two Golden Globes, Laura Linney is finally ready to get serious about this acting business and join the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. The Hollywood Reporter says that Linney has joined the upcoming sequel about large, vaguely humanoid turtles who practice martial arts and joke about their boners, taking on a role that is as yet unspecified. However, we do know it is specifically written for an actor with the proven capability of getting paid, son. THR further notes that Linney, a new mom, is “becoming open to projects that are geared for younger audiences,” having recently learned that babies cost money to raise. You can’t feed a baby DVDs of Mystic River.

The report doesn’t even speculate on which role Linney might play in the film, which has already begun production in New York. But with …

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