Newswire: That hip new Teletubbies reboot will be coming to the BBC soon

The BBC has announced that new Teletubbies are coming to save humanity from its long global nightmare. Conservationists have long been concerned that humanity might someday burn through the Earth’s extant 365-episode supply of the long-running children’s show, leaving toddlers with nothing to stare blankly at while their half-deafened parents pray for death. But now, despite the protestations of its progress-hating creator, the Teletubbies reboot remains on course for release, and is set to arrive on the BBC’s CBeebies kid’s channel later this year.

The network also revealed the new members of the show’s cast, who will be voicing various anthropomorphic objects for the titular characters to interact with. (The Teletubbies themselves, of course, speak only in the tongue of the Great Race Of Yith, as transcribed by its modern-day acolytes.) Veteran British actor Jim Broadbent, of The Wicker Man and Hot Fuzz, will bring …

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