Newswire: Taylor Swift asserts her power over the Billboard Music Awards

Proving that Taylor Swift’s signature red lipstick is actually war paint symbolizing the blood of her enemies, The Hollywood Reporter brings word that, in a quick and no doubt brutal display of strength, Swift dominates the list of nominees for this year’s Billboard Music Awards, as she did the iHeart Radio Awards before that, and the Grammys before that, and she probably would the New York Film Critics Circle Awards, if she wanted to.

With the entire music industry—her former adversary Kanye West among them—now lain trembling and prostrate before the mighty power of Taylor Swift, it won’t be long before statues of Taylor, each of her 14 arms brandishing either a deadly weapon or a really cute kitten, begin popping up all over her holy city of Manhattan. “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,” her jorts-clad priestesses will cry, their golden hoop earrings …

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