Newswire: Steven Spielberg promises not to let Indiana Jones die already

Much to the almost certain chagrin of Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg has promised fans that cinema’s most beloved septuagenarian archaeologist-adventurer will not be granted the dignity of a peaceful demise at the end of the upcoming fifth Indiana Jones movie. “I think this one is straight down the pike for the fans,” the remarkably busy director-producer revealed in a recent interview with The Hollywood Reporter. “The one thing I will tell you is I’m not killing off Harrison at the end of it.”

The already cantankerous actor will be 77 years old when Indiana Jones And The Golden Cthulhu Bas Relief (or whatever it’s called) hits theaters in July of 2019, and the thought of being on the hook for who knows how many subsequent films has got to be somewhat of a bummer. The guy only just managed to realize his longtime dream of extracting himself …

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