Newswire: Springfield, Illinois swears allegiance to Cobra Commander, declares war on G.I. Joes

It’s fairly common knowledge that politicians in Illinois have a tendency to do whatever they want, even if it’s not necessarily what one would consider “legal.” It’s like House Of Cards, except everybody realizes their elected officials are evil and they don’t really care because it’s usually harmless. That’s all changing now, though, because J. Michael Houston, the mayor of Springfield, Illinois, has just declared his support for Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization that is determined to rule the world. Over the past several decades, Cobra has been credited with countless attacks all over the planet, including several attempts to control the weather and carve things into the moon.

This shocking report comes from G.I. Joe fansite Generals Joes (via io9), which claims that Houston recently presented the organization’s leader—a mysterious masked man known only as Cobra Commander—with the key …

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