Newswire: Sorry girl, Ryan Gosling’s directorial debut isn’t coming to theaters

Ryan Gosling will just have to settle for being a handsome and successful professional actor as Variety reports that Lost River (a.k.a. How To Catch A Monster), Gosling’s directorial debut, won’t be coming to a theater near you, or anywhere for that matter. Warner Bros. has apparently decided not to release the movie in theaters and will debut it in April on home video instead. Given that this is a movie that premiered at Cannes, was written and directed by a big Hollywood name, and stars other big Hollywood names like Christina Hendricks, Doctor Who‘s Matt Smith, and Eva Mendes, Lost River doesn’t lack marketing appeal.

“So give it to me straight,” you say, tearfully clutching your Ryan Gosling body pillow. “It sucks, doesn’t it?” That does seem to be the case—although our own A.A. Dowd gave it an even-handed C …

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