Newswire: Sharknado 4 to hinge on whether people care about what happens to Tara Reid

[This article relies on a discussion of plot details from the ending of Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! God help your soul if you read it before experiencing the film for yourself.]

Ensuring that shark-based weather formations will become an American summertime tradition, as regular as July barbecues or heat stroke, Syfy wasted no time in announcing a fourth film in the increasingly epic Sharknado franchise. Now that the combined forces of sharks and unrelenting, audience-insulting camp have devastated the Eastern seaboard and a number of minor celebrities—as well as authors who may or may not have more important things to be doing with their time—Director Anthony C. Ferrante has suggested that the Sharknados may be going international next year. (Cue footage of a shark being impaled on the Eiffel Tower, as lovingly depicted as the most fumbling of novice Photoshop attempts.)

But the biggest plot detail of …

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