Newswire: Scarlett Johansson to Move That Body in new movie from Broad City writers

As part of a bid to amp up our efforts to feed the insatiable maw of capitalist exploitation, The A.V. Club now presents a newswire that has been designed to maximize its appeal for the average internet search engine:

Guess which alluring actor and former Esquire “Sexiest Woman Alive” is getting ready to display her assets (by which we mean her voluminous amount of acting ability) on an enormous screen for anyone who wants to watch?! That’s right: According to The Hollywood Reporter, Scarlett Johansson is getting ready to star in Move That Body, an R-rated comedy from Lucia Aniello and Paul W. Downs, writers on the Comedy Central show Broad City. And stop the presses, because in addition to scripting the scorching-hot screenplay (hot in the parlance of “in demand,” because it made the 2015 Black List of the best unproduced scripts in Hollywood) Downs will co-star …

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