Newswire: Ridley Scott knew there was water on Mars, didn’t have time to change The Martian

Earlier today, scientists from NASA emerged from the rundown garage that government cutbacks have forced them to move to in order to announce a shocking discovery: There is water on Mars. Actual liquid water, like the stuff that comes out of our plastic bottles. We’re not experts on outer space or anything, but we’re pretty sure this means that there is definitely life on other planets, and it’s only a matter of time before we make contact with an extraterrestrial force that could wipe out our entire race in an instant. Basically, this is all very exciting.

Well, to us it’s exciting. To famous director Ridley Scott, though, it’s probably more of a nuisance. That’s because a major plot point of his next film, The Martian, involves stranded astronaut Matt Damon trying to figure out how to make water on Mars. Now that we …

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