Newswire: Richard Simmons speaks publicly for the first time in 3 years

Having accidentally become the subject of a bizarre internet manhunt by dint of politely asking people to leave him alone so that he could stop being famous for a minute, fitness guru Richard Simmons has finally been forced to confirm that he is fine, thank you, just like he’s been having his family and management tell people he was.

Simmons made his statement to People, speaking out after being hospitalized this past weekend for stomach issues. “Hello to everyone who has shown concern for me and sent their good wishes,” Simmons wrote. “You will never know how much it means to me. Aren’t you sick of hearing and reading about me?! LOL Well by now you know that I’m not ‘missing,’ just a little under the weather. I’m sure I will be feeling good and back home in a couple of days.” The “missing” comment was …

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