Newswire: Reese Witherspoon is gooping herself with a new advice book

Gwyneth Paltrow’s decision to separate herself from Goop—the holistic spa equivalent of Neo waking up in that gelatinous fuel pod in The Matrix—has left a willowy, kale-fed hole in the celebrity lifestyle advice market. Now that Gwyneth is out of the game, where will the common people go to drown themselves in visions of cashmere bralettes, quinoa salads, and beautiful cakes that no one ever eats? Who will step up to provide an aspirational vision of moneyed fulfillment that only the rich, famous, and extremely good-looking can provide (besides Zooey Deschanel, Oprah, Lauren Conrad, Jay Z, Elizabeth Banks, or Tori Spelling)?

Enter Reese Witherspoon, who’s throwing her Nassau navy lace baseball cap into the lucrative lifestyle ring with an upcoming book based on her upbringing in Tennessee. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Witherspoon’s advice will trade heavily on Southern culture—the “peach cobbler and pecan …

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