Newswire: R.I.P. Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa, 2017-2017

We are gathered here today for this living wake in loving, future memory of Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa.

Oh, what divine Yum! Brand™ Creator giveth, it has taketh away, proclaiming that in March, the Year of our Lord 2017, the chalupa conceived with a fried chicken shell shall cease being and return to the great Taco Bell assembly line in the sky, where it will be reunited with its departed ancestors like the Enchirito, Grilled Stuft Nacho, and the Bell Beefer. We may take comfort in knowing that the Naked Chicken Chalupa did not live a life too short, nor too long. Its time on Earth was the appropriate length: about two months.

It arrived into our lives with stentorian fanfare, its conceit the subject of vicious, hyperbolic mockery. But when the moment came in which we actually met this chalupa, there was a revelation: It was hardly …

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