Newswire: People in Chicago will soon have to pay more for Netflix

As anyone who has lived in Chicago knows, every day is an exercise in abject misery. Oh, sure, good things happen sometimes—like when the refrigerators broke at the hot dog factory, and they were just handing out free hot dogs to people on the street—but for every delicious, free hot dog they get, a true Chicagoan knows that they’re going to have to eat at least two terrible hot dogs on the way. (People from Chicago think of everything in terms of hot dogs.)

So when an out-of-towner (someone who doesn’t know what “da Jewels” is) hears that the city of Chicago is imposing a so-called “Netflix Tax” on streaming services, they might think this is a big deal. “Oh, those poor midwesterners,” they might say. But no, people from Chicago know this is just another un-dipped Italian beef sandwich, another “L” flag flying over Wrigley …

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