Newswire: Noted shithead Martin Shkreli promises unreleased Nirvana tracks if Trump elected

In the liner notes to Incesticide, Kurt Cobain writes, “At this point I have a request for our fans. If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or women, please do this one favor for us—leave us the fuck alone! Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.” We now know Cobain fucked that one up, because he forgot to saying anything about purchasing the band’s unreleased tracks. And he really made a mess of things by failing to include anything about “Don’t use our songs as blackmail fodder in America’s worst election since sitting President Millard Fillmore came in third to Franklin Pierce and General Winfield Scott.” Wednesday night, sentient inflatable punching bag Martin Shkreli took to Twitter to offer up a deal with America: Elect Donald Trump, and he’ll release previously unheard music from …

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