Newswire: No, Kim Gordon was not bit by a coyote at Whole Foods

In an incident that’s just the latest example of the internet forcing famous people to deny the weird rumors and jokes about them that run non-stop through its collective, electric mind, former Sonic Youth bassist Kim Gordon has been forced to clarify that she was never bitten by a coyote outside a Whole Foods in the Silver Lake neighborhood of Los Angeles.

@AdamGoesHam no

— Kim Gordon (@KimletGordon) May 29, 2016

Claims to that effect came courtesy of an Instagram account purporting to be the official one for the Silver Lake store, which put forward the following post on Saturday, briefly tricking people into thinking the attack might actually have occurred:

Instagram Embed

But while that initial post—which came shortly after the account offered a promotional offer on energy drinks for cocaine users—was reasonably deadpan, things surrounding the non-existent attack quickly grew absurd. Apparently realizing that they’d …

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