Newswire: No, Katy Perry, you can’t trademark “Left Shark”

Left Shark, thou art no this sick beat. Today in “Let’s Plant A Flag In Everything Because ‘The Public’ Is An Outdated Concept” news, it seems that Katy Perry is being briefly thwarted in her efforts to capitalize on your fleeting amusement at her flustered backup dancer. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the pop singer’s initial attempt to register a “Left Shark” design with the U.S. Trademark Office has been rejected.

In a response that likely forced him to consider some hard truths about his job and its place in the world, trademark examiner David Collier concluded there was not enough evidence to justify granting Perry a trademark based on the submitted design’s relation to her performance. Not only that, but a photo of the real-life Left Shark (or “Lark” as it is popularly known, having now eclipsed America’s second-favorite Lark, Lark Voorhies) is markedly …

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