Newswire: Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics are coming to poo-scented colored vinyl

Are we already thinking about Christmas poo? We’ve not yet dealt with Halloween poo—much less Thanksgiving poo!—and here we are, discussing the festive excrement of the winter holidays. Oh well, this is our society, in which we’re continually encouraged to fixate on the newest shit. And while we’re on the subject, we might as well give our warm regards to Columbia/Legacy who will soon present us with Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics. And on vinyl, no less!

This Yuletide album—originally released in 1999 and executive produced by Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Rick Rubin (the St. Nick of music production moguls)—features many of the most popular characters from South Park, including Stan, Cartman, Chef, and Satan. This special edition feces-scented 12” LP is pressed on appropriately brown-colored vinyl. It’s the perfect gift to drop under the tree.

Mr. Hankey’s Christmas …

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