Newswire: Morrissey wins award for worst literary sex scene

The Literary Reviews annual Bad Sex In Fiction award is a longstanding tradition in the world of poorly described coitus, much anticipated by connoisseurs of improbable orgasms and quasi-criminal overuse of the words “turgid,” “tumescent,” and “shaft.” Every year, the magazine’s editors seek out the worst descriptions of on-page boffing in non-pornographic works, feting overused simile and celebrating winking reference to the beast with two backs. 2015 being no different than any other year, the Literary Review has announced its next honoree, inducting storied songwriter and recent novelist Morrissey into the Bad Sex Hall Of Fame.

The former Smiths frontman earned the distinction with his debut novel, List Of The Lost, which debuted in the U.K. earlier this year. Centering—really—on a “cursed relay race team,” the book apparently takes at least one detour into the world of enthusiastically narrated intercourse, complete with the phrase “bulbous …

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