Newswire: Madonna promises oral sex to Hillary Clinton voters

Last night, noted stand-up comic Madonna opened for her pal Amy Schumer, who was performing at New York’s Madison Square Garden. And while Schumer was openly “apologetic” to fans of Donald Trump—who recently walked out on a show she performed in Tampa—Madonna put her political cards on and/or under the table, promising the American people, “If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blowjob.”

Madonna opened for Amy. Msg @Madonna

— Joe (@jgra555) October 19, 2016

Madonna, who’s also voiced support for Katy Perry’s “Vote Naked” campaign, and filmed her son decapitating a Trump piñata on his birthday, went on to clarify her oral sex credentials: “And I am good. I’m not a douche, and I’m not a tool. I take my time.” Like any good politician, she then went into specifics, outlining the details of …

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