Newswire: Look upon these Chewbacca Crocs, ye nerds, and despair
First, they released that dispenser that made it look like you were pulling Scotch tape from C-3PO’s crotch, and I did nothing, because I thought that was pretty funny.
Then they released the Darth Vader Burger, and I did nothing, because that was in France and they have weird attitudes towards fast food in general over there.
Then Cover Girl announced its Star Wars makeup line, and I was like hey man, that’s not weird at all, don’t be sexist.
Then they released the Chewbacca Crocs, which must smell even worse than regular Crocs (as if such a thing were possible) because they’re lined with fake Wookiee fur. And there was no one left to tell me that I looked terrible, because they were busy watching people take toys out of boxes for 18 hours straight. They were pretty comfortable, though:
Should you decide …