Newswire: Liam Neeson helpfully informs American parents that Taken is fiction

Who can take anything ”big media” says as the truth anymore? Sure, they may tell you that the movies Hollywood makes aren’t real, but then again, they also said we were safe from Ebola, and now look at us! Ebola everywhere! That’s why some sensible Texas parents—more than 40 of them—refused to accept that their high school-age children could safely go on a field trip to Europe. They had seen Liam Neeson’s Taken films, and knew that every kid who lands in that godforsaken continent is just a hair’s breadth away from being kidnapped and sold into sex slavery.

So their teacher did what any reasonable educator would do: she stopped citing facts, statistics, and verifiable evidence, and instead went straight to the source, asking Neeson himself to step in and speak to the parents about what’s really going down in Europe. And …

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