Newswire: Let Gwyneth Paltrow teach you how to yawn properly

After years of receiving edification in the importance of keeping your colon tidy, your backyard party playlists curated to match the mood around your chiminea, and your water emotionally gratified, you may be feeling a bit tired of Gwyneth Paltrow. And according to the actress and lifestyle tyrant, that’s fine—and it’s perfectly acceptable, even welcome, to yawn around her. But as always, it’s important that you yawn correctly, and not just throw your mouth open like another sack of ranch-dipped breadcrumbs to inhale. Luckily for you, as with every other aspect of your life that’s also primarily a biological function, Paltrow has some tips to make doing it a conscientious chore.

In her latest update to Goop, the Rosetta Stone that will one day explain to our descendants how we died of insufferability, Paltrow writes of “Why Yawning Is Important And How To Optimize The …

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