Newswire: It’s a great day for racial slurs and sex offenders at the Supreme Court

Having apparently decided that a case involving Universal Music Group taking down an adorable video of toddlers dancing to Prince constituted too high of a risk of joy, innocence, or other life-affirming emotions, today the Supreme Court of the United States of America made a pair of decisions that will remove two of the biggest obstacles to forming a more perfect union: The inability to trademark offensive terms, and a ban on sex offenders using Facebook.

The first decision is the more complex one, having been approached from two different perspectives. On the one hand, the court’s decision to strike down a 71-year-old law banning trademarks that “disparage or falsely suggest a connection with persons, living or dead, institutions, beliefs or national symbols, or bring them into contempt, or disrepute” will benefit the Washington Redskins, whose registered trademark, which the team had held since 1967, was canceled in 2014 …

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