Newswire: Holy crap, we teleported something into orbit

Seriously, you guys, what the hell. Let’s all pause with the I Fucking Love Science memes for a second, because something intense just happened. The BBC reports that Chinese scientists have managed to teleport an object from earth all the way into orbit around the planet. That situation transpired, so let’s everyone just take a beat, admire the awe-inspiring majesty of humankind’s relentless pursuit of knowledge, and bask in the glory of collective advancement, before getting back to complaining about why they’ve broken up Game Of Thrones into two smaller final seasons rather than one big one.

The researchers teleported a photon from a lab in the Gobi desert to a satellite orbiting some 300 miles away from Earth, using a method known as quantum teleportation. The Guardian explains this process as “an eerie phenomenon in which the complete properties of one particle are instantaneously transferred …

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