Newswire: Guns N’ Roses to reunite, headline Coachella

Billboard is reporting that Guns N’ Roses—as in the actual Guns N’ Roses, Slash and Axl Rose, the twin scions of Goofy Top Hat and Ill-Advised Bandana—are planning to reunite. The pair—who last played together in 1993—will reportedly come together at next year’s Coachella Music Festival in April, which they’ll headline as a band. Then—assuming nobody kills anybody else—they apparently plan to launch a 25-venue tour of North America, presumably culminating in an encore performance of “November Rain” from within the frozen remains of Hell, as Slash belts out a wailing guitar solo from beneath a flying-pig-filled sky.

According to Billboard, hints about the reunion came earlier this week, when the band’s web site updated with an image of the group’s old logo; meanwhile, certain theatergoers attending showings of Star Wars: The Force Awakens were treated to a cryptic trailer …

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