Newswire: Fox breaks up Mulder and Scully, crushing the hearts of shippers everywhere

Love, the famous feeling of profoundly passionate affection that some people feel for other people, has officially died. There is no more love in the world. Valentine’s Day is a sham, romantic comedies are all lies, and Shakespeare’s 18th sonnet is actually about how great summer is. You may be reading this next to your significant other and thinking, “No, love is real. I love this person,” but we’re here to tell you that’s simply not the case. Love is, and always has been, a cruel joke on humanity.

In related news, Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Mulder and Scully will be broken up in Fox’s upcoming X-Files revival series. That’s probably disappointing to the millions of people who were deeply invested in their relationship and the way it was slowly built up over years and years of increasingly disappointing alien conspiracies, but whatever …

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