Newswire: Fake president to interrupt real debate

As would-be public servants bicker tonight over who most hates taxes and loves the convenient parts of the American dream, a true leader is preparing to cut through the clutter and address his waiting people. That’s right: House Of CardsSmirker In Chief, President Frank Underwood, is expected to address the nation tonight, briefly distracting us from the spectacle of the latest GOP debate with the (relatively more welcome) spectacle of Kevin Spacey’s terrifying Southern drawl slipping from betwixt his barbecue sauce-stained lips.

BREAKING NEWS: President Underwood will be making a special announcement tonight during the #GOPDebate.

— House of Cards (@HouseofCards) December 15, 2015

As announced on Twitter, Underwood’s Netflix-backed missive will presumably address his upcoming re-election bid—or, as it’s known in the real world, the show’s fourth season, which is expected to debut next year. It’s not clear what form the message …

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