Newswire: Curse-defying heroes at Paramount really don’t want people to see Rings

Not unlike a cryptically speaking gas station attendant, or a creepy-but-well-meaning janitor from a formulaic scary movie, Paramount is doing everything in its power to keep people away from watching The Ring. Specifically, the studio has once again delayed the emergence of Rings, the Johnny Galecki-starring third installment in the J-horror adaptation franchise first brought to America in 2002 by director Gore Verbinski. The film has been moved back to October 28 from its planned April 1 release date, presumably because the Easter Bunny has already staked out the market for spring-based, supernatural home invasion.

This is actually the second time Rings has been moved back; it was originally intended to come out last November, but the heroes at Paramount somehow kept the curse at bay. Ironically, their method—periodic, and possibly unlimited, delays—stands in contrast to the survival strategies developed in the actual movies, where the only way …

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