Newswire: Christopher Walken to play the mystical pet-shop owner to Kevin Spacey’s talking cat

Because all actors must play or play opposite an animal eventually—a show-business principle known as Dunston’s Law—Kevin Spacey recently signed on to play a cat who is also a workaholic businessman who needs to learn a lesson about what’s really important in a movie called Nine Lives. (The answer, of course, is family, and plastic bags that make a crinkly sound when you step on them.)

But because if Kevin Spacey plays a talking cat in a movie, and no one is there to hear him, did he really cash his paycheck, Deadline reports that Christopher Walken will play “the owner of a mystical pet shop” who “assists the businessman during his feline time of stress” in the film. (What makes this pet shop so mystical is still unclear, but we assume he took over after Mr. Wing decided to sell the place and retire to …

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