Newswire: Apple no longer thinks farts are funny, bans them from Apple Watch

Perfectly encapsulating the struggle between base animal nature and the higher realm of the intellect that rages inside all human beings, no sooner had humankind invented a device that put the entirety of human knowledge literally at one’s fingertips than somebody used it to make fart noises. Originally introduced in 2008, the iFart app was downloaded more than 100,000 times in its first few days of existence and claims to be “an Apple All-Time TOP 20 App!” (It also claims to be “the world’s most popular digital fart machine,” for what that’s worth.)

But even with its new “Social Farts” function, the pun-rich app and its ilk are apparently not welcome on Apple’s newest piece of hoity-toity portable technology, the Apple Watch. The developer of something called Fart Watch—which basically turns your iPhone into a whoopie cushion controlled by your Apple Watch because who …

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