Newswire: Amazon buying Whole Foods with just one $13.7 billion click

Portending a day when its smile logo will be the satisfied grin of the beast that swallowed the entire world, Amazon has announced plans to purchase Whole Foods in a deal valued at $13.7 billion. Acquiring the charming little mom-and-$8-“natural”-pop store, which boasts more than 460 locations in the U.S., Canada, and U.K., marks Amazon’s biggest foray yet into the brick-and-mortar arena that it all but demolished with its gradually all-encompassing online retail. For Whole Foods, the deal means a chance to shake itself free of private equity investors who have become increasingly frustrated with the chain’s slow growth, shrinking profits, inability to fend off competition, and the fact that the MaraNatha Almond Butter contains palm oil, which everyone knows is not sustainable.

Before Jeff Bezos fired up his room-sized Alexa and asked it to buy him a mega-grocery, Amazon had already …

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