Newswire: A billion people logged into Facebook on Monday

Facebook: It’s not just for hacking into Death Cab For Cutie’s page to post images of rim jobs. On Monday, more than one billion people logged on to the social networking site, meaning, for the first time ever, roughly one in seven human beings on this planet were on Facebook within a 24-hour period. That includes you, your parents, that weird Austrian art-school kid you met in a discotheque that one time, and—by now—probably half the cast of The Gods Must Be Crazy.

CEO and world’s most boring clotheshorse Mark Zuckerberg took to his creation to crow about the achievement, which took the form of a bland platitude that likely passed across four desks in Public Relations before being posted:

I’m so proud of our community for the progress we’ve made. Our community stands for giving every person a voice, for promoting understanding …

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