Great Job, Internet!: YouTube’s “Food Surgeon” heroically replaces raisins with chocolate chips

Chocolate chips are demonstrably, objectively superior to raisins as cookie ingredients. Anyone with functioning taste buds knows that. But how does one go about substituting the former for the latter, especially when the cookies are already prepared? A YouTuber called The Food Surgeon, self-defined as “a culinary practitioner not qualified to perform surgery of any kind,” provides the answer to that with an eerie, wordless tutorial video called “Cookie Reassignment Surgery.” If that unfriendly title sounds overly clinical, it should. The video treats the transformation of an oatmeal raisin cookie into an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie with a degree of seriousness usually reserved for complicated surgeries.

The Food Surgeon, unseen apart from forearms and rubber-gloved hands, begins with a bag of Pepperidge Farm Santa Cruz soft baked oatmeal raisin cookies. A single cookie is carefully extracted from the bag, and then the culinary doctor performs what can only be called …

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