Great Job, Internet!: Study of the most banned wedding songs proves nobody wants to do the Electric Slide

There are two types of weddings: Fun ones and ones where people line dance. That at least seems to be the takeaway of this recent study by FiveThirtyEight, which “collected the testimonies of more than two dozen professional DJs on nearly 200 weddings” to find out which tracks were most banned from the playlists of those betrothed. The results are, for the most part, on point.

Each of the first eight songs involve some kind of accompanying dance, whether it be the Macarena, the Electric Slide, or the hokey pokey. And then there’s the chicken dance, that bastion of wine-drunk aunts. Anyone who’s not sweating rosé can tell you that that thing has humiliated more people than split pants and mustard stains combined.

People want to dance at weddings, but nobody wants to feel obligated to dance. Nothing quite harshes the vibe like watching a procession of rumpled …

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