Great Job, Internet!: China’s biggest online marketplace is letting people gamble on Taylor Swift’s love life

As a nation/planet/decadent empire crumbling on the edge of death, we’ve all been captivated by the drama and beauty of a prospective Taylor Swift/Tom Hiddleston coupling. The star power! The romance! The rocks! But not even Hiddleswift—both the hypothetical couple’s fan nickname, and the house in Hogwarts where the strange, awkward children are kept—is certain. And, as we all know, in uncertainty, there is cash.

Hence the actions of China’s online marketplace Taoboa—think eBay, except you’re allowed to hire yourself out as a fake boyfriend, or sell “pee caddies” to harried parents—which is reportedly allowing providers to sell “break-up insurance” to customers. The policies will pay off double if Hiddleston is relegated to the world of broken-hearted T-Swift album material. Essentially, it’s the same gamble as life insurance, except the life in question is that of Tumblr user …

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