Coming Distractions: Kingsman: The Golden Circle teaser crams an entire movie into 4 screaming seconds

Cramming the already-cramped concept of the “teaser” trailer into a half-subliminal visual poke, spy sequel Kingsman: The Golden Circle managed to compress its entire first promo, released today, into a mere four second span—bookended by shots of the fictitious British spy service’s logo, which take up twice as much time as the actual footage.

Past synopses for the film have indicated that stars Mark Strong and Taron Egerton will be making their way to the States for this outing, teaming up with Halle Berry and her U.S.-based team of espionage cowboys in order to bring down Julianne Moore’s evil chemical empire. We feel a little silly repeating all that, of course, since the trailer makes it perfectly clear.

Still, if you found the video’s “blipverts, but louder” approach a little overwhelming, we’re here to help. Please enjoy our meditative tone poem “Channing Tatum …

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