Coming Distractions: Jesse Eisenberg is a stoned Jason Bourne in this trailer for American Ultra

The media likes to talk about all of the bad things that drugs do, like ruining your life or whatever, but it never brings up the positive aspects of constantly being high. For example, in this trailer for American Ultra, the fact that he’s on drugs is what helps Jesse Eisenberg avoid being turned into some kind of government-sanctioned assassin. Well, he’s already a government-sanctioned assassin, but the drugs apparently help him ignore all of the weird mind control stuff that the government did to him while allowing him to retain the Jason Bourne-style hand-to-hand combat skills that he picked up along the way. Those hand-to-hand combat skills are going to come in handy, too, since Topher Grace and Connie Britton (as bad government people) have kidnapped his girlfriend (Kristen Stewart).

In case the preceding paragraph doesn’t make it clear enough, American Ultra looks like a pretty …

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